Monday, April 27, 2015

Things I didn't know about being bald...

Well, I did it...Last night I shaved my head.  To be more accurate, Ron and Jacob shaved my head.

Sarah took pictures of the process.

None of us have ever done such a thing, so we really didn't know how it was to be done.  Jacob started with the Flowbee.

If you don't know what a Flowbee is, it is a hair cutting system where there are clippers attached to a vacuum that cuts your hair while sucking it up and into the vacuum.  It works pretty well...and once we got it figured out it was successful in giving me an all over buzz cut...but not bald...I looked a bit concentration camp-ish.

Hmmm... we hadn't counted on that, so we had to borrow some clippers from a friend to finish the job.  (Thanks Jacque!) Once we shaved it down as low as it could go, Ron used his electric shaver to make it even smoother.

  and then I took a shower and then tried to shave it even more with a razor.

  So here's what I've learned...

1. That smooth, shiny head look and feel is more difficult to get than one might think.  I think my head looks like it has a 5 o'clock shadow all over.

2. My head has a "grain".  Hair on top grows forward, while hair on sides and back grows downward.  Trying to shave it smooth is not so easy as it is pretty coarse.  Even my 5 bladed razor had a tough time.  I got it fairly smooth...but some spots just wouldn't smooth out completely.

3. I thought it would be too creepy to pullout...but if I had it to do over again, I think I would just pull as much of it out as possible first, then shave the rest. (It was coming out pretty easily)

4. I can't speak for the men, but for the ladies... when it has been a while since you shaved your legs and you finally do...  You know that smooth feel? ...  My head feels the same way.   It's kind of fabulous.

5. My head is a pretty good shape for being bald.  Sarah, who just finished an anatomy class, thought it was cool you could see the sutures (the joints where skull bones have fused from birth).

6. When I send emoticons while texting, etc... There is now a resemblance.

7. A cool hand on my face feels cool, but on my head feels much colder... That is a pretty trippy feeling if you've never experienced it.

8. For that matter...shower water streaming on my totally bald head feels pretty cool as well.

9.  The wig is the most uncomfortable thing I can imagine wanting to put on my head.  Hats are not much better for me...maybe for short periods so as not to shock people.

10. Sleeping with a bald head is awesome.  It felt great on my pillow.  Hair around my face and neck while sleeping has always been a nuisance. Not to mention the breeze on my head coming through my open window last night... way cool!

I'm sure there's more I never knew...but that's my list for now.  I'm feeling a bit better today...and my sense of humor is back.  Good morning!

Sunday, April 26, 2015

**SIGH**....It's time...

When your comb looks like this, it's time.  

Well, round two of my chemo treatment is well under way.   The last few days have been anything but pleasant.  I think it was a little better than last time though; probably because this time I was a bit more experienced and knew how to handle the discomfort that would arise.  I tweaked my medicines to my liking and managed the best I could.  For some reason the image that continues to flash through my head of how I feel is that of a cricket that has not been sprayed with enough Raid to be humane.  Sorry for the imagery if it is offensive...but that's how I feel.  However the cricket is overcoming the Raid today...and beginning to feel a little better....not great, but better.  

Chemo makes me very irritable. Not like I am raging or anything, just irritable.  Pictures of food irritate me. Things that are just a little off, irritate me.  Bumps in the road irritate me.  So I go about my day trying to avoid the irritations that are everywhere.  It is a bit stressful...but I think it will go away soon.  It is hard being homebound not feeling well enough to do anything.  I get so incredibly stir crazy. So it is a relief when I get out for even a little while, which I try to do every day.

I don't think my taste buds are as dead this time as last time, but things just taste wrong.   I am not so repulsed by the sweet this time, however I do prefer the salty..even though the salt tastes bitter.  Still loving spaghetti, but find tomato soup to be too sweet. Malt-O-Meal is a good filler.  It is a real struggle for me to deal with nausea, brought on by hunger, that I don't want to feed because I feel nauseous.  I remember feeling that way when I was pregnant and thinking that would be HELL for over-eaters...To always be hungry, but everything you look at to eat makes you feel sickish.  Ugh!  Speaking of over-eaters... I've gained 2 pounds.  ( if!!!)  Forget the dream that maybe this might be worth it if only I could lose 20 lbs. WHATEVER!
To top it off...(chortle)  my hair is falling out like crazy and it is grossing me out.  Touching my head is kind of like petting a golden the summer... while your hands are wet.  It is really creeping me out...grossing me out to be more exact. Seriously...gross!  

Last night Ron and I went out to grab a bite and then walk around the Mall for a bit.  We stopped at a store that had hats, and some were cute, but I have never been a hat girl.  Of course I've never been a bald girl either...but still. Trying on hats made me we left.  This really is a hard thing.  Oh, I've anticipated and joked about it for I do, but it doesn't seem so funny right now.  The whole process feels so demoralizing. From the poking and prodding and the loss of privacy and modesty, to surgery and scars and chemo side effects...  It really put it bluntly.  Losing my hair is just one more thing.   I have long gotten tired of looking a bit too boyish for my liking with my short hair...even to the point of avoiding looking at myself.  I can only imagine how annoying bald will be.  I guess I'll just have to get used to it. 

Boy... what a downer of a post. Sorry...I'm not feeling so great right now.  On a bright note... I did get some beautiful flowers delivered on Friday....from my Uncle Phillip and Cousin Don.  That brought a smile to my face...and they continue to do so.
 Thank you Uncle Phillip and Don!!