Saturday, October 4, 2008

My Favorite Saturday Morning Conference Quote....

"In the midst of Winter we find within us an invincible Summer...." Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf speaking on Hope.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Problem Solved!!

So you know what I did? I had Kemp go over and talk to him. That worked...now I have my hose back. I think everybody should have a Kemp.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

What would you do?...

How is that for an opening? I have a situation...which haves a somewhat obvious solution...yet it is often easier for me to know the solution than it is to act on it.

I have this neighbor...his name is Jorge. He is from Mexico. He has lived next door for the past couple of years and has basically been a decent neighbor. Sometimes he even would mow or do small yard jobs for me...while I was away. He has had a number of people sharing the house with him, but they have always been nice enough. ....except a couple of weeks ago when the police were all around my neighborhood...on two streets. I found out that Jorge had let someone stay at his house who had molested one of the boys on the other street. Anyway...

A few days after that incident, Jorge came over to my house at 9:30 PM. I was in my pajamas and only opened the door to poke my head out. Told me he was moving in a few days and that his water had been shut off and he wanted to know if he could use my hose to wash up. I told him OK and after some small talk...which included him giving me a pile of firewood, I left him to use my hose. ...assuming that this was a one time deal or something.

Well, the next day I looked and saw that my hose was hooked up to his hose leading up to his house. I was a bit surprised and a little annoyed with that, but thought that maybe I had misunderstood him...easy to do when you don't both speak the same language. So thinking he would be leaving in a couple of days, I decided to just let it go. Well moving day came, and a bunch of his roomies moved out, but he didn't. Eight days later...he is still there, and so is my hose and water. He's been using my hose for nearly 2 weeks. This is because his water is off and he needs water. I believe his power is off too...as his house is always dark at night. Fortunately there are no extension cords going from my house to his.

So now I am getting quite frustrated with this situation. I spoke to him last week and mentioned it, he told me he was moving on Tuesday...Yesterday. Well, I don't see signs of moving.

OK...I know the answer is obvious. I could just go over when he is not home and unhook my hose from his and put it in my back yard. Or...I could go over and just talk to him assertively and suggest that he figure out how to get his water situation taken care of without using my water. It really shouldn't be that difficult, but it is for me. I HATE CONFRONTATIONS!!! Why can't people just be normal? You know? Who just uses his neighbor's water for weeks??? Perhaps that's what they do in Mexico, but we don't do that here. UGH!

So....any suggestions?...

Monday, September 1, 2008

No...really....I had a fantastic Summer!!!














Well, that last blog was my sort of sarcastic, but amusing (if only to me) way of appeasing Paige's persistent request for a blog. However, today I want to reiterate what a great summer the kids and I had.

We began the summer...and I mean began the moment the kids got out of school...with a cross country road trip in my coolest Vanagon ever...the Syncro. That was because I had sold it to some guy in Connecticut, and worked out an arrangement to drive it to him...that's kind of a long, unnecessary story.

We saw a few new states on the way to Connecticut...Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas...I've always wanted to see the Ozarks, as "Where the Red Fern Grows" is an alltime favorite book of mine. It is as beautiful as I had imagined...I really want to see it in the Fall.

We went through Kentucky...which we had been to before on our first Vanagon road trip. I have decided it is one of my favorite states so far. We camped at two different places there and almost got to experience a tornado in one...we could hear the sirens, but it never came to us. We also found a brand new baby deer at another camp site. We got to pet it...and the kids were very excited. Jacob got poison ivy from that...those silly deer hiding in the poison ivy...what are they thinking?

Then we drove through West Virginia and camped there. We were practically the only people at that campsite...it was like we owned the entire mountain. As night approached and it got very dark, the kids got a little nervous thinking about the wild animals that might be out there. I was a little nervous as well, not so much thinking about the animals, but the fact I knew there were 2 other small groups of people on that mountain that I didn't know, and all the Friday 13th movies I had seen in my tender youth...before swearing off those rated "R" movies came to mind. EEEK! I didn't share my nervous imaginings with my kids. Instead we watched "The Muppet Movie"...and that did wonders to lighten our spirits. (When was the last time you watched that movie...???)

From West Virginia...we went to Virginia and saw Lisa and ClarkCordner and their fabulous family. It was so nice to see them again and they are always very gracious and kind when we come visit. Our only regret is we wished we had more time to spend with them, but we only had an evening and morning. But it was very nice to see them...they are so accomodating...we think they actually like us to visit. (We hope they do :o} )

From there we made our last leg of the journey with a transmission going out and barely making it over the border to Connecticut. It was there that the new owner...who had to be a bit disappointed, took the van, dropped us off at a NYC hotel and said good bye...as we said good bye to our fabulous Vanagon that we had originally named "Buzz" because it was the coolest toy of all...and later named Wheezy...because it didn't perform as well as we had hoped. Sigh...I need another Vanagon!!!

On that trip...we experienced every kind of weather imaginable... We began with rain at home...believe it or not turning into heavy snow (yes on May 23) as we climbed into the mountains...(that has NEVER happened in AZ on that day for as far back as weather has been recorded in AZ) Then we crossed the hot, dry plains of TX and OK. Then humidity which often turns into tornado weather with heavy rain and hail...and some very ominous clouds. It was very exciting!

We also went to see my brother in law in Iowa...and saw a new state...Nebraska when we went to Winter Quarters in Omaha.

Then we went to San Diego for a couple of days of fun at the Beach and to visit my friend Sherri...that was fun with the exception of the Sting ray...but even that makes an amusing, memorable story. Then up to Utah to spend a week Paige and family...That's always a Summer Highlight. We especially loved watching Paige in her "Seussical" Play. She was great.

Between vacations, the kids went on various vacations with their Dad and had a fabulous time.

Finally, we went camping as we usually do. We go to a place where we can play in the stream and pick blackberries, and just relax. I love camping....even without a Vanagon. School started a few days later...and then for me two weeks later...but that is another post.

So summer was very eventful, AND I WANT TO THANK ALL OF MY FRIENDS WHO MADE THE WONDERFUL SUMMER MORE ENJOYABLE FOR US. We have officially seen 35 of the 50 states...we're getting there...I guess the Deep South is next... Are any of you moving south in the near future??? I wonder if anyone in North Carolina has a Vanagon they want to sell...

That's all.... Enjoy the photos....

(Apparently this blog site won't let me put captions on the photos...or I can't figure it out...WHATEVER!)

PHOTOS IN ORDER...

(FAMILY PHOTO IN WEST VIRGINIA)


(BUTTERFLY IN THE OZARKS...)

(LOTS OF CENTIPEDES IN WEST VIRGINIA.)

(JACOB'S ATTEMPT AND SUCCESS AT PHOTOGRAPHING LIGHTNING...BEFORE THE TORNADO WARNING SIREN.)

(FAMILY PHOTO AT THE OZARKS)

(SARAH PICKING POPPIES IN KENTUCKY)

(COOL TURTLE CROSSING THE STREET IN KENTUCKY)

(ONE MORE FAMILY PHOTO...IN THE MOUNTAINS OF WEST VIRGINIA.)

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Paige wants me to blog something...

Alright already ...MY SUMMMER....By Robin Johnson...Age 39

My summer was fun. We did lots of stuff. We drove our Vanagon to Connecticut. It took 8 days and we had fun, but we also had car troubles... I tell my kids the things that go wrong on our trips are what make the trip more memorable.

We only had 8 days to get to Connecticut because we had to be back in time for Sarah to go to Girl's Camp. I wanted to stay on our road trip longer, but Sarah really wanted to go to Girl's Camp. It was her first time. She had fun.

When Sarah and Jacob came back, we went visit my brother-in-law, Gary...only he's not really my brother-in-law anymore...but I still love him and I think of him as a brother. We flew with my mother to St. Louis where Gary and my nephew Colton met us. We had fun. We saw the arch and ate at the Spaghetti Factory. The Mississippi River was very flooded and we even played in the Mississippi River...in the middle of the street in St. Louis.

Then we went to Nauvoo. We had fun. But at some point my mother blew a gasket and yelled not very nice things at me. Then we didn't have fun. So Sarah and I went to Minnesota to see some of our friends, while Jacob stayed in Iowa with Gary, Colton and my mom. Sarah and I had fun...but I missed Jacob. Jacob did have fun in Iowa though. I tell Sarah and Jacob that the things that go wrong on our trips are what make them more memorable. We don't want to remember that part though.

We all met up in Omaha, NE to fly out. While there we saw Winter Quarters. I thought it was interesting and wished we had more time to see more.

After we got home from that trip, Sarah and Jacob went to Texas with their Dad, so I had a lot of time on my hands. I don't remember what I did with it...but I think I did some house cleaning somewhere in there.

When Sarah and Jacob came back, we decided to go to Utah to see our friends the Ericksons. Instead of just driving straight up, we went to San Diego to stay a weekend with a friend and then drive to Utah. We had fun in San Diego. On Saturday, we went to the beach and played in the ocean. I got stung by a Stingray. That hurt a lot...!!! That was NOT fun. I tell the kids that
the things that go wrong on our trips are what make them more memorable. We'll definitely remember that! We went to the beach the next day...and we had fun.

Then we drove up to Utah and stayed with Paige and Ryan and their kids. We had fun. My kids think Paige's house is the highlight of their summer vacation. I like it a lot too. We got to see Paige in her Seussical play...she was really good. I got to eat donuts with Michelle...that was fun...! Paige and I went Garage-sale-ing...that was fun. I even hung out with Larry and saw his new house. My kids played and played with the Erickson kids...They had fun. Paige and Ryan are very nice to keep letting us come to visit them...Thanks Paige and Ryan.

We had to come back from our trip to Utah in time for Sarah to go to Girl's Camp...in her Dad's ward this time. Sarah had fun...again. Then Sarah & Jacob spent the next week-and-a-half with their Dad. I cleaned the house...but this time really cleaned it. I even painted all the walls and de-cluttered every room.

My back patio was cluttered with all the stuff I had to move out of the house when my washer overflowed, so I had to work very hard to bring all that stuff back in, find a place for it, or throw it in a garage sale box...or in the trash. Lucky for me it had rained while I was in Utah and the patio roof leaks...so a lot of it got wet...so I could throw even more away. It was a relief to clean the patio off finally, but there was the most amazing cricket infestation I had ever seen. I believe it could rival the Pioneer's Cricket Infestation of May 1848. My chickens and goose were of no help...obviously not prone to gorging and puking as those seagulls are.

When my kids came home, I took them camping at Oak Creek. Every year we go there to pick wild blackberries...so it was time. We camped two nights...and it was lovely. We picked blackberries, played in the stream and rock-hopped and Jacob spent hours with Colton trying to spear a trout with a knife on a stick. While I knew he would not likely ever get one, I was amazed at his tenacity. Very rarely does something catch Jacob's interest that long...that is not electronic.

After camping...we came home, made blackberry pies and jelly, shopped for school supplies...and a few days later...SCHOOL STARTED!!!! Whooo-hooo!!! Now we can stop all that vacationing and get back to work!!!

HOW WAS YOUR SUMMER???

Friday, May 2, 2008

I don't get it....

You know, for the past 9 years I have attended...or planned on attending Women's Conference. A wholesome thing to do...right? You think that the powers that be would see that as a good and needed thing for me...right? I guess not. The afternoon before the morning I am supposed to leave, while I was doing Laundry, Sarah comes up to me an informs me that her Young Women's activity is a swimming party and she needs a new suit NOW...of course. So I quickly throw another load of wash in the washer and run up to Walmart with Sarah and Jacob to find a suit...so she can attend her church activity. We come home about 45 minutes later to find our house flooded with water. Long story short...Washing machine decided to leak all the water on my floors....you remember my floors...right? Yeah, those floors and the floors in my office and pantry as well. Well, after a call to my insurance company, within hours my beautiful new floors are torn up (and looking like the before pictures) and giant fans have been strategically placed through out my house to drive me crazy with constant, loud humming. No I guess they are really there to prevent mold from growing in all of my walls and causing horrible health conditions for me and all who enter my house.

Needless to say...and I waited as long as possible to be sure...but I had to cancel my flights to and from Utah...and say good bye to Women's Conference. I really needed, wanted, looked forward to Women's Conference this year...Whatever. So why? Why on the afternoon before I leave does this happen? So I could have a big fight with my ex-husband that ends in his calling the police on me...Yes...he did it again. So instead of being spiritually uplifted and recharged, I get a torn up house, a fight with my X and constant humming. I think that time of month is just around the corner as well...Fortunate for me, I don't have my kids so I can sit in my disaster...alone.

Sometimes, I just don't get it.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

My how they grow....




Well, our goose Duck-Duck is growing nicely. He/She (we still don't know) is 5 times the size he was when we got her and a lot of fun...but boy can that goose poop. I mean every 2 minutes...no exaggeration. Anyway, after about 10 days of having that cute little goose following me around (which I loved), and constantly pooping (which I didn't love), I finally decided he was big enough to mingle with the chickens. Oh by the way, we got 6 new chickens - 3 Red and 3 Black. I was excited to get them as they were 10 weeks old instead of chicks. Chicks and baby things are a lot of work. Anyway, Duck-Duck has won her way into their hearts and it seems he is accepted by them. They are still a little cliquey...they even separate often into color of hen. Usually blacks with blacks and reds with reds. Weird! But Duck-Duck tags along in the group and now instead of being a couple of feet away as was in the beginning, she is right there in the mix. The only problem...hens roost at night. So when they all fly up to their roosting spot at night (tonight was the trampoline), little Duck-Duck is left on the ground and all alone. We feel sorry for him, so we let her in the house to sleep in his box and then put her back out at night.
So, one thing you need if you are going to raise a goose...and a turtle for that matter...is a pond. We have had a turtle...named Turtley-Wurtley. She is a water turtle, but doesn't seem to know it...but that's another story. Anyway, this weekend, between Saturday conference sessions, we built a pond. We had to dig a 5'x3'x1' hole...which is no easy task here in Arizona...can we say caliche soil? Yeah, and huge bolders along with that. But within two hours, we had dug our hole. Then after the second session, we finished it. The water was cloudy at first because we let too much dirt get in, so we had to drain it and fill it again. Then we got a bunch of gold fish (10 regular and 2 fancy) and a suckerfish...for cleaning. And now it is done and we love it...Duck-Duck likes it too. I pluncked him in there and she just started swimming around. Very cute. Unfortunately, Turtley-Wurtley was not impressed and wandered off to heaven knows where...I guess we will see her in a month or so. Ah well, you can't please everyone.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Duck...Duck...




...............................................GOOSE!!!!.................................................
Guess what we got for Easter? We were going to get baby chicks...since our chickens have decided to lay fewer and smaller eggs...and eggs are expensive...and the kids think I am the coolest when I get them baby critters... However they were all out of chicks...we will get a couple on Thursday. But this little baby gosling was all by his/herself and well...I decided Duck-Duck would be a great name for a Goose...so I got it. He/she lives in our bath tub right now. I don't know how long we will keep it...as we all know that Geese can be very ornery. I am thinking of putting a pond in our backyard...maybe it will be happy if we do. Anyway...Happy Easter!!!

Sunday, February 24, 2008

It's my Birthday...

Today is my Birthday. I am not telling you that for any reason except that I want to write about my birthday. I love my birthday...it is my favorite day of the year. On this one day I can do anything I want to do. Some years I have done many things...massages, pedicures, shopping, eating...or should I say binging...etc. (It is kind of like Mardi Gras...only I do make sure that confessions to my Bishop won't be necessary following my birthday celebration.) Last year I just went to the temple, took a long hot bath and laid in bed and read. Nothing exciting...but it was what I wanted to do. Some of my friends ask me if they can take me to lunch, or breakfast or whatever... On this day, I tell them that I will only do something with them if that is what I feel like doing at that time. So if they want to go to lunch they have to just wait for me to call them and say I WANT TO GO TO LUNCH WITH YOU. That is because if I schedule a lunch with someone and suddenly I decide I want to do something else like skiing or to take a hot bath or whatever, I will feel obligated to do lunch instead, and that is not what my birthday is about. It is the one and only day I can be completely self-centered.

Another thing that is cool on my birthday is I don't answer the phone all day...unless I want to of course. So after a day of doing anything I want to do, I check my messages...and there are a bunch of people wishing me a happy birthday. I love that part of the day! It is kind of like a surprise party at the end of the day with all my friends yelling "Happy Birthday".

One problem...my birthday is on a Sunday this year. That's not gonna work for me. So for my birthday (since I can do anything I want) I am officially declaring February 25, 2008 as my 39th birthday. I also declare that, following this declaration, I will treat this day as my normal Sunday, but am granting myself the right and privilege to do absolutely anything and everything I want to do tomorrow.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Valentine's Day...

As you well know, yesterday was Valentine's Day... It was a fairly routine day for me...nothing special...which is fine... Until my Mom asked me what I got...and it dawned on me that all of my "boyfriends" have gotten married or moved on in the past year. Chuck #1 just got married about 3 weeks ago. Chuck #2 got married about 11 months ago, and I guess Kemp finally gave up on me...and I got nothing. WOW! Last year I had at least 2 bunches of flowers...now I have none.

So after that realization, I got on E-harmony. It is this dating site I have heard about where they give you this long personality test and then match you up with your soul mate. I really did it to amuse myself and see what their idea of my perfect mate would be. So after spending about 1/2 hour answering all their questions, I hit the "match me" button...guess what... Out of all their clients they had NOT ONE match for me. Ouch! I wasn't quite sure how to take that. So I figured it was because I had marked that I was LDS looking for LDS. So for fun, I took off the LDS criteria so I could see what matched. Once again there was not a single match for me. That has me hopeful...no wonder I have been single for 8 years... I don't have a soul mate!

I called Chuck #1, explained the situation and scolded him telling him that he was supposed to pine after me for many more years. He was slightly sympathetic, between peals of laughter, but had to go because he and his wife were off to dinner...and you know...they are newlyweds.

I called Chuck #2 today, explained the situation and scolded him because before him guys who dated me didn't get married. He was the one who boldly got married...out of the blue, breaking my streak...now all the other guys think they can do the same. He wasn't even slightly sympathetic. Instead he told me that I broke up with him, and then proceeded to tell me what he got from his wife and what he got his wife. Whatever!!

I called Kemp...Yeah, no sympathy there. I think he was relieved not to have to worry about what to get me this year.

Larry called me for Valentines day. He actually had called me a week before to let me know that he had given me up for Lent. Then he called me on Valentine's Day to tell me that he had still given me up for Lent, but he is only calling to wish me a happy Valentine's Day. When I called him back, he scolded me for making him break his Lent.

On a more positive note, my Visiting Teachers came over and brought me some chocolate...they like me.  Hey...my kids like me!!

P.S. ...Saturday marked my anniversary of this blog...my how time flies.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Here is something worth blogging about...

Today was one of the best days I have had in a long, long time. And when I add that it wasn't all that spectacular...that will help you know that it has been a very long time since I had a decent day. Boo Hoo...so anyway. I'll tell you a little bit about it.

Well, I met with our Parenting Coordinator this morning. (she is like this counselor who tries to help dysfunctional parents, like myself and my ex, make decisions regarding our children.) That was OK...but the outcome was pretty good since I got my way both times....and Glen had to pay for it.

After meeting with the PC, I decided to go to the court house to get some legal information. On the way in, this lady was walking out with a smile on her face (something you don't see walking out of the courthouse very often) and she looked and me and smiled and said "There is a God!!!". I turned to her and said "I know, thanks for reminding me." Anyway, I continued in and did what I needed to do. Then as I was driving away, down the road, I saw that same lady hitchhiking. Now I don't normally do this, but seeing that I was in such a good mood and she seemed in one as well, I thought it would be amusing to pick her up and find out what was making her so happy.

So I turned around and picked her up and gave her a ride to a nearby shelter. I asked her why there was a God today. She proceeded to tell me how she had fallen in love 10 years ago, (ugh! Some of us know how dangerous that starting line can be...) and had taken the rap for her boyfriend on something (I didn't pry into the details). It wasn't quite clear the outcome, but I guessed that she had been given community service by the court at the shelter I was taking her to. She told me that the people who are assigned community service usually are more trouble than they are worth at those projects, therefore the managers usually don't treat them very well. She told me that when she got there she decided to do a good job and soon the managers liked her. So now that she is not required to do community service any more, she still wants to help out there. I thought that was cool. It kind of reminded me of the story of Joseph...then I started thinking of Donny and started drooling and ....never mind.

So back to my story...I dropped her off at the shelter. She shook my hand, Thanked me, and told me her name was Nancy, and I told her my name was Robin. We both told each other to have a nice day...and I think my day will be nicer for it and I hope hers will be too.

I don't know...but I think that is kind of a cool story.

After that, I took my kids to Arby's for lunch...kind of a celebration of my win...but I was under strict orders not to present the results with the PC to the children as a win for me. So I told them "Your Dad and I had a discussion with Dr. Joy and we have agreed...< that I could have my way >" The kids both knew it was not their dad that agreed, but that was how I was ordered to present it. WINK WINK!

And then.........I picked up my first paycheck in a long, long time. $91.43!!! Woooooo!!

And then my kids came home from school and we played Dance Dance Revolution

And then my mom took me to dinner to celebrate.

And then I found out that today is Chinese New Year...so Happy Chinese New Year!....

And when I read about Chinese New Year...they say that if your Chinese New Year day is good, then it means the rest of your year will be good. YEAH!!!

I am going to go to bed right now...just in case.

Good night!

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

A tribute to all my very cold Utah friends....

....and a reminder to me that the grass is not always greener in Utah...especially in the winter...

*Diary of a Snow Shoveler*

December 8: 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years, felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.

December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14: Snow, lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and two extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in
Alaska, after all.

December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like heck. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for five hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20: Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the darn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Darn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower, and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas, because 13 more inches of the white crap fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt 'til August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel, and then I had to pee. By the time I got undressed, peed and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel! Tried to hire Bob, who has a plow on his truck, for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the jerk is lying.

December 23: Only 2" of snow today, and it warmed up to "0". The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What, is she nuts!!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did, but I think she's lying.

December 24: 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the SOB who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his hair and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over everywhere I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the darn snowplow.

December 25: Merry Christmas!!!! 20 more inches of the fricking slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.

December 26: Still snowed in. Why the heck did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27: Temperature dropped to -30, and the pipes froze. Plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him; he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28: Warmed up to above 5. Still snowed in. SHE'S is driving me crazy!!!!!

December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30: Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver. He is now suing me for a million dollars; not for only the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his nose. The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.

December 31: I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8: Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Good-bye Widdow...


Widdow is dead... Did I ever mention the Weimaraner (Mona...changed to Mona Lisa) I got for free at a garage sale a couple of weeks ago? No? Well, my sister was going to take her off my hands, but changed her mind after she destroyed her home. So I brought her back, left for two minutes...and in 2 minutes Widdow was a gonner. Note to self: Never leave a bird dog to tend the chickens. Good bye Widdow... Good news though...I sold Mona Lisa on Craigslist for $200...cha ching! Someone remind me that I don't do well with new pets...the next time I decide to pick up a freebie....

Thursday, January 3, 2008

We got a new pet...




This little chicken flew into my former Bishop's back yard yesterday and I was the first person they thought of calling. They didn't know what to do with her, so I told them I would take her. Meet Widdow...as in Widdow Chicken. She is about the size of a pigeon and about 1/4 the size of my other chickens and not very popular with them...the old biddies. Hopefully they will all warm up to each other...we'll see. The kids were sure excited about her when they came home this morning.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Happy New Year!!

Well, another year has come and gone. Last night we did the annual Christmas Tree/Firework display...do you want to see it? Jacob video taped it with his new camera...here it is...



I must tell you it is a much more awesome sight in person. In the background you can hear the fire alarm Christmas Tree ornament that I bought...it warns you if your tree is on fire. We were amazed that it kept working long after the trees were done burning. The whole process almost makes one nervous when the fire really starts to get big...part of the excitement is the nervous fear that something could go very wrong...and the hope that it doesn't. Sounds crazy, I know...but when it was all done Jacob let me know that I am much more fun than his dad on New Years Eve...chalk another one up for me. OK that was unnecessary.... (New Year's Resolution #1.....Forgive and get over it ....blah, blah, blah!) New Year's Resolution #2 - Lose 20 lbs. New Year's Resolution #3 Be kinder and if it doesn't need to be said...don't say it. I have a lot more...but I will spare you. By this time next year...I'll be a whole different person! What are your New Year's Resolutions??